Epiphanies? I think we have those....

I know, I know. Lack of updates. I've just been really busy with classes and figuring shit out. Last night was a big night for me in terms of the latter. I found out a very important thing about myself: I don't know how to be me. With everyone doing things for me because I can't and not having any true control over what happens, I have trouble finding things that I can do completely on my own. Is this an identity crisis? I'm gonna find out...

Results of stress

Being handicapped is no easy thing. Most of the time its not so bad; nothing I can do about it anyway. I can usually take anything in stride, but when it all piles up its gotta go somewhere. My whole life people have done things for me, because I can't. They get things for me, they bathe me, they piss me, they put me on the can, they even brush my teeth and shave me. I'm ok with this because I understand that to live, I need to depend on others. Only for certain things though. Throughout my schooling, I've had aids to help me do the physical parts of attending school. The problem is, there's a fine line between doing the physical part of my work and doing all of it. That line was crossed way too many times and because of that, when I finally put a stop to it, I made it really hard for myself by stopping it right before I started college. Now, last semester I had it relatively easy; only taking one challenging course and one I could pass while getting head. I aced that one while getting a C in the other with minimal stress. The reason I think I got a C was because I'm not used to having to motivate myself to do things, since I always had someone else to tell me when to do it. That, and I think I have a problem with laziness, again stemming from having too much help as a kid. This semester I'm taking two challenging classes and after my first day, I'm scared shitless. I don't know if I'm up to the task physically or mentally. I just wish I knew.

The Beast

Saw Rocky Balboa today. Damn what a good movie. Those types always get me pumped. I didn't know Stalone wrote and directed it. That just makes it all the better. The beast is out.

Oh god, I'm chafing

I finally picked up Marvel: Ultimate Alliance and Project 8 yesterday, and I exchanged the standard edition of Gears of War for the Special Edition. I got fairly far, fairly quickly in M:UA last night. I beat Fing Fang Foom and M.O.D.O.K. and....I have no clue who the fuck they are. Seriously, I've never heard of either of them. I guess not reading many comics may have something to do with it. Maybe. I wish I knew more about the heroes so I could make a decent choice concerning my team members. Meh. I know one thing though: Deadpool is a badass. The man has two swords and two pistols. Damn. I'm going to see the new Rocky movie at some point today with a few people. Should be a knockout. See what I did there? With the play on words? They can't teach that................don't judge me.

Signs of life

Holy mother of god its been awhile since I've updated. Over a month. My life has been fairly routine for the month of my absence. Treatments, showers, gaming, movies, friends, etc. Oh yea, Thanksgiving and Christmas happened somewhere in there too. Thanksgiving was nice, with a good family of friends came for dinner. Afterwards we played Sequence. Not going to bother explaining the rules because I don't really remember them all that well. Christmas was yesterday and overall it was a good day. I got lots of good shit, mostly PC games and DVD's: Heroes V+the expansion, Half Life 2 Holiday 06 Collection, Battlefield 1942, Black and White 2, Splinter Cell: Double Agent(X360), Gears of War(X360), House seasons 1 and 2, The Simpsons seasons 5 and 9, Rescue Me season 2, a bunch of Carlos Mencia DVD's, and some clothes and other random shit. My mom's sister's family came for dinner and we watched the Eagles game. We killed Dallas, 23-7! T.O. looked pretty good, except for the whole, y'know, losing thing. The same family from Thanksgiving is coming tomorrow for dinner and Christmas.

CNL and such

So Saturday night was the big fundraiser held for me every year for the past 4 years. Meh. I'm not a big fan of it, even though I know its to help me and my parents pay for nursing when we don't have any. It kinda feels like its a party celebrating my disability though. Think about it: if I didn't have MD, the party wouldn't happen. I know, I know. Shut up. There were a few good parts to the evening though, one of which being my best friend coming down from West Point for the weekend(bastard never did get me a beer :P), and the other was two of my friends that I only get to see when we go to beach in the summer also came up for it. Oh, and leaving. That part fucking rocked. We didn't really have time to do much but it was still awesome to see them all. Friday I stopped off at Blockbuster after classes, and rented a couple of games. Might have heard of them. Gears of War and Project 8. Sweeeet. They both rock equally, each in different ways. GoW has AMAZING graphics and Live play. P8 has ragdoll physics, with goals like trying to smash yourself through gates while rolling down a hill and seeing how many bones you can break in a set time. Good shit.

18 going on 7

Quick warning: this isn't going to be a happy update. I'm 18 years old. People need to realize this fact NOW. I am a legal adult, completely capable of making my own decisions and choices. No longer should I have to go to bed on a night where I don't have to get up the following morning. 10pm was awesome when I was 14,15, even 16. Not anymore. I'm legal in the state of Pennsylvania, yet I can't even decide on my own bedtime? Fuck that. I also don't need my mother telling me that I need to get out and socialize more. Not everyone has a million friends. I'm happy with the amount I have, and I feel I've met my quota for this particular stage in my life. /pissed off rant........Well I feel better now. Haven't updated in awhile, I know. Just been swamped with papers and other shit. Have played a few games though. Splinter Cell: Double Agent is pretty good. I think I've made more progress in the single player for it than in any other Splinter Cell. Cad is having a Ryzom gameday this Saturday, so I'm giving that a go. Now, Least I Could Do is my new webcomic addiction. I've been reading it for awhile, but for some reason, the addiction just now set in. I fucking love this comic. It is one of the best written, best drawn comics I've ever laid eyes on. Sohmer is one funny sunava bitch. Digital Overload is going to be a hell of a different ball game now that I know who the funny lookin bald Canadian is. I ordered all 3 LICD books and I can't wait to get them. I think I'm looking forward to the commentary the most, as I've already read the archives online. Hmm....I think that may be it for today kids. Hope you all got alot of tooth rotting delights last night. Here's a pic of my not-so-scary-looking-but-equally-tooth-impaired-pumpkin-guy (it just seems wrong to not have a super hyphenated phrase in all of my posts. Consider it my Halloween gift.):

About 8 inches...

Haven't updated in awhile with school and games and lazyness coursing through my very being. This may be a fairly long post. I downloaded a few demos this week to try out and for the most part, they were all good. First up, Battlefield 2142. Never played Battlefield 2 because of rig quality and not being very skilled with a keyboard/mouse combo. I thought it was fairly good, though I can't see justifying $50 for two online game mode, but I may pick it up. Probably not though. Next up: Dark Messiah of Might and Magic. Now THIS game rocks my foot condoms. I love the combat and the interaction with the environment; there are so many different ways to approach a given situation, be it full on assault, stealthy backstab, magic blastery, or just a good ol' kick to the face. Truely open-ended. F.E.A.R Combat is next. I only played a few rounds and didn't get much out of it. I'll give it another go later. Now comes Company of Heroes. This one was really of fun. It's very authentic to the time and is just damn fun. Plus, it has ragdoll physics! The little Nazi's flying in all directions after a well thrown grenade just makes me giddy inside. Finally, Splinter Cell: Double Agent has a demo up on Marketplace. I played a few rounds and liked what was there. They changed it to 3v3 now rather then 2v2 and I think that makes it better. They also upped the gamespeed way high now, making it a bit more frantic. I enjoyed it though. Thumbs up. In other news, I went to a hockey game last night in reading. Helluva game. Tied going in to the third period but sadly the Royals lost 4-3. Least it was only pre-season.